Stuck

You know how when you have a writer’s mental breakdown and have nothing to say? I know, people call it writer’s block, but I don’t think it’s a block, per se, but rather a severe lack of motivation.

I have a daily minimum goal of 400 words a day. That doesn’t seem like much, but for the last two weeks, I haven’t done more than 500. And that’s only because I count taking photos FOR my books to be part of the word count, because it’s part of my book. I mean, it should count, but it’s sad that in order to make my goal each day, I have to include it.

I don’t know what has happened. I attended a writer’s conference in April, and since then my motivation has waned. Some things make sense. I got a full time job for the summer. I took care of my husband while he’s been recovering from surgery. But other things do not make sense to me.

I actually finished a book last month. I have sent it off to publishing. This is awesome. This should motivate me to write like I have never written before! To get on my next big idea, my next big project. But no. I just don’t have anything in me.

I have no motivation to seek out motivational assistance either. What is going on? I am not inspired to seek out other writers even to see how they deal with plateaus.

In the past two weeks, I have finished binge watching four television shows, slept (like, a lot), and cooked several recipes which were horribly unhealthy and full of sugar. That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? It sounds like I’m suffering from a break-up.

Life off the island took a piece from me that I can’t seem to find again. Getting back to normal is taking more out of me than I thought. I have more responsibilities, and more anxiety than before.

All I know is I don’t want to die without having shared my passion with the world. If I have to get these done 400-500 words at a time, then so be it. My muse will come back and bite me in the ass to move forward faster.